How to Handle Stress? An awesome technique from the book Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton


Stress is real, right? As a full-time working mom, you’ve got a ton on your plate—work deadlines, kids’ activities, household chores, the whole thing. It feels like there’s always something or someone demanding your attention. But the key is learning how to deal with stress before it overwhelms you. That’s where the 4 A’s of Stress Management come in handy. These simple strategies help you manage stress in a more intentional way, so you can breathe a little easier

1. Avoid – When Possible, Steer Clear of Stress

Some stress just isn’t worth it. Life is chaotic enough, so the first step is figuring out what stressors you can cut out. Is there something that’s always causing drama in your day? Maybe it’s something as simple as saying “no” to volunteering for the 100th bake sale or not answering every single email the moment it lands in your inbox.

  • Example: Let’s say your weekends are getting crushed by endless kids’ birthday parties or events. Maybe you don’t need to go to every party—just the ones that are meaningful to your kids (or you!). Sometimes, it’s okay to politely decline and take that time for yourself. You’re only human.

2. Alter – If You Can’t Avoid It, Change How You Approach It

Okay, so there are some things you can’t avoid—like dealing with your kids’ homework meltdowns or a demanding project at work. But how you handle these situations can make a big difference. Communication is key here.

  • Example: At work, instead of staying silent and getting overloaded, try being upfront with your boss about your capacity. If a deadline is tight, ask if it can be adjusted or see if a colleague can help out. Same goes for home life—if your partner’s available, don’t hesitate to delegate those late-night school projects or the never-ending laundry.

3. Adapt – Change How You Think About Stress

Let’s face it—sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. You can’t control everything, but you can control how you react to it. This one’s all about shifting your perspective.

  • Example: You’re late to work because your kid took forever to find their shoes (again). Instead of spiraling into frustration, take a deep breath and remind yourself that, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world. The goal here is to let go of the need for perfection. You’re already doing a lot—don’t be so hard on yourself.

4. Accept – Some Things You Just Have to Live With

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, some stressors just won’t go away. Maybe it’s your boss’s high expectations, or your toddler’s refusal to nap. This is where acceptance comes in. It’s not about giving up, but about realizing that some things are beyond your control, and that’s okay.

  • Example: Let’s say you’ve been trying to juggle work, family, and self-care, but your “me time” keeps getting pushed aside. Instead of feeling guilty, accept that some weeks are going to be busier than others, and that’s fine. Maybe you can squeeze in a quick 10-minute meditation in the morning or listen to your favorite podcast while making dinner. Little moments of self-care can still make a big difference.

At the end of the day, stress is part of life—especially when you’re balancing a full-time job and motherhood. But the 4 A’s can help you manage it in a way that feels a little more doable. And remember, you’re already doing an amazing job! You deserve some grace, too.

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